7 Tips for Getting Value Out of Networking Events

Copyright FabCafe

If you are an introvert like me the last thing you want to do is spend time “networking”. Even if you are an extrovert your time is valuable and just mingling isn’t going to cut the mustard if you want to get any kind of meaningful results. So what is the best strategy when attending an event with intention of networking?

1. Be yourself, don’t sell yourself.

Authenticity reigns supreme when it comes to building relationships. The last thing you want to do is come off as someone trying to sell something. No one wants to be sold. Especially if you have to not be yourself to do it. People are attracted to people they can relate to and interact with. They can spot fake a mile away. Don’t be fake!

2. Take the time to get to know people.

Time is valuable, but so are deep relationships. If you want to be connected you have to be able to connect beyond the surface. Don’t try to meet every single person at an event. Find one or two people that fascinate you and learn something real about them. Walk away with the start of relationship not a business card.

3. Don’t lead with what you do.

You are not what your job title on the business card says or the place where you earn your income. If you lead with that you set the tone of the relationship as being transactional. If you lead with who you are and what makes you tick you open the door to connect in ways you may have never thought possible.

4. Get beyond small talk.

How about that weather. Boy traffic was a bear getting here. Anyone paying attention knows these things already. Get past them as quick as humanly possible, dive right into the deep end. It will scare away the people that aren’t capable of going deep and will attract those that are willing to make a connection. If nothing else it is memorable.

5. Help understand what people need so you can help them get it.

When getting to know someone understand their passions, desires and what it is that is holding them from obtaining what they want. If you help someone get what they want the power of paying it forward on their part sets off a chain reaction that comes back ten fold, but that’s not why you should do it. You shoudl do it because it feels damn good to help someone get along in the world.

6. Leave with connections and action items.

Make sure you have a way to connect and follow up with those you made connections with. If you are going to help them achieve their goals you will need to be able to get in touch with them. Have a next action to engage with before leaving them. Agree to connect them to someone, set a time to continue the relationship or provide them resources to move them forward.

7. Avoid people who are selling themselves or their products.

Don’t waste your time. If someone is selling give them a way to contact you to give you information on what it is they are selling and move to the next person. You can always review a sales pitch on your own time and terms. Connecting with people requires your full presence, so you should optimize your face to face time with activities that can’t be done on your own time. Invest your time with people that will be vulnerable enough to share their needs.

Sunday Book Review : The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John C. Maxwell

The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader: Becoming the Person Others Will Want to FollowThe 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader: Becoming the Person Others Will Want to Follow by John C. Maxwell

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A great companion to Maxwell’s 21 Laws of Leadership. You can read this in one sitting, but it will take a lifetime to grasp it’s content fully. A chapter a week might be a better approach. The 21 Qualities:

1. CHARACTER: Be a Piece of the Rock
2. CHARISMA: The First Impression Can Seal the Deal
3. COMMITMENT: It Separates Doers from Dreamers
4. COMMUNICATION: Without It You Travel Alone
5. COMPETENCE: If you Build It, They Will Come
6. COURAGE: One Person with Courage Is a Majority
7. DISCERNMENT: Put an End to Unsolved Mysteries
8. FOCUS: The Sharper It Is, the Sharper You Are
9. GENEROSITY: Your Candle Loses Nothing When It Lights Another
10. INITIATIVE: You Won’t Leave Home Without It
11. LISTENING: To Connect with Their Hearts, Use Your Ears
12. PASSION: Take This Life and Love It
13. POSITIVE ATTITUDE: If You Believe You Can, You Can
14. PROBLEM SOLVING: You Can’t Let Your Problems Be a Problem
15. RELATIONSHIPS: If You Get Along, They’ll Go Along
16. RESPONSIBILITY: If You Won’t Carry the Ball, You Can’t Lead the Team
17. SECURITY: Competence Never Compensates for Insecurity
18. SELF- DISCIPLINE: The First Person You Lead Is You
19. SERVANTHOOD: To Get Ahead, Put Others First
20. TEACHABILITY: To Keep Leading, Keep Learning
21. VISION: You Can Seize Only What You Can See

If you could grow in any of these areas this book is for you!

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Sunday Book Review : The Power of Kindness by Piero Ferrucci

The Power of Kindness: The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate LifeThe Power of Kindness: The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life by Piero Ferrucci

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Ferrucci distinguishes this pure kindness from self-interested politeness, calculated generosity, superficial etiquette, and kindness against one’s will. He gets into honesty, warmth, forgiveness, contact, sense of belonging, trust, mindfulness, empathy, humility, patience, generosity, respect, flexibility, memory, loyalty, gratitude, service and joy as aspects powering kindness.

From his experience as a psychiatrist he posits kind people are healthier and live longer, are more popular and productive, have greater success in business, and are happier than others…they are destined to live a much more interesting and fulfilling life than those who lack this quality. They are much better equipped to face life in all its savage unpredictability and frightening precariousness.

If you are seeking compassion and want to grow in this arena, this one is for you.

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6 Tips for Scaling A Business

1. Simplicity. Keep things as simple as possible. Every time you add complexity to your business model, processes or operations you will pay for it exponentially as you grow.

2. Cash Flow. Know how you will fund the next stage of growth. Nothing will stall a machine more quickly than it running out of gas.

3. Automate. Anything that gets done repeatedly should be automated. The more simple things are the easier automation becomes.

4. Focus. Only worry about the next order of magnitude of growth. Think in terms of doubles. What would it take to double growth. Don’t think past that.

5. Get the right people. Every magnitude of growth requires different personalities and skills. Make sure you have the right players for the next milestone.

6. Ask for help. Build connections of peers that have experience in the next stage of growth you are seeking and lean into them to learn from their mistakes and failures.

Sunday Book Review : The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell

The 21 Irrefutable Laws of LeadershipThe 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

What makes a great leader? Maxwell sums it up in 21 laws. Quick read that will take a lifetime to absorb. The 21 laws:

1. The Law of the lid.
Your leadership is like a lid or a ceiling on your organisation. Your church or business will not rise beyond the level your leadership allows. That’s why when a corporation or team needs to be fixed, they fire the leader.

2. The Law of Influence.
Leadership is simply about influencing people. Nothing more, nothing less. The true test of a leader is to ask him to create positive change in an organisation. If you cannot create change, you cannot lead. Being a leader is not about being first, or being an entrepreneur, or being the most knowledgeable, or being a manager. Being a leader is not just holding a leadership position. (“It’s not the position that makes a leader, but the leader who makes a position.”) Positional leadership especially does not work in volunteer organisations. The very essence of all power to influence lies in getting the other person to participate. “He who thinks he leads , but has no followers, is only taking a walk.”

3. The Law of Process.
Leadership is learned over time. And it can be learned. People skills, emotional strength, vision, momentum, and timing are all areas that can and should be learned. Leaders are always learners.

4. The Law of Navigation.
Anyone can steer the ship, but it takes a leader to chart the course. Vision is defined as the ability to see the whole trip before leaving the dock. A leader will also see obstacles before others do. A leader sees more, sees farther, and sees before others. A navigator (leader) listens – he finds out about grassroots level reactions. Navigators balance optimism with realism. Preparation is the key to good navigation. “It’s not the size of the project, it’s the size of the leader that counts.”

5. The Law of E.F. Hutton.
Hutton was America’s most influential stock market analyst. When he spoke, everyone listened. When real leaders speak, people automatically listen. Conversely, in any group or church, you can identify the real leaders by looking for those who people listen to. According to Margaret Thatcher, “being in power is like being a lady – if you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” (p45) Tips for a Positional leader – like a newly appointed minister – who wants to become a REAL leader… look for the existing real leaders and work to have influence there. Factors involved in being accepted as a new real leader include character, building key relationships, information, intuition, experience, past success. and ability.

6. The Law of Solid Ground.
Trust is the foundation for all effective leadership. When it comes to leadership, there are no shortcuts. Building trust requires competence, connection and character.

7. The Law of Respect.
People naturally follow people stronger than themselves. Even natural leaders tend to fall in behind those who they sense have a higher “leadership quotient” than themselves.

8. The Law of Intuition.
Leaders evaluate everything with a Leadership bias. Leaders see trends, resources and problems, and can read people.

9. The Law of Magnetism.
Leaders attract people like themselves. Who you are is who you attract. (Mmmm… I thought like poles were meant to repel!) Handy hint: “Staff” your weaknesses. If you only attract followers, your organisation will be weak. Work to attract leaders rather than followers if you want to build a truly strong organisation.

10. The Law of Connection.
You must touch the heart before you ask people to follow. Communicate on the level of emotion first to make a personal connection.

11. The Law of the Inner Circle.
A leader’s potential is determined by those closest to him. “The leader finds greatness in the group, and helps the members find it in themselves.” (p113)

12. The Law of Empowerment.
Only secure leaders give power to others. Mark Twain said, “Great things can happen when you don’t care who gets the credit.” (p127). Another point to ponder… “Great leaders gain authority by giving it away.”

13. The Law of Reproduction.
It takes a leader to raise up a leader. Followers can’t do it, and neither can institutional programs “It takes one to know one, to show one, to grow one.” The potential of an organisation depends on the growth of its leadership.

14. The Law of Buy-In.
People buy in to the leader first, then the vision. If they don’t like the leader but like the vision, they get a new leader. If they don’t like the leader or the vision, they get a new leader. If they don’t like the vison but like the leader, they get a new vision.

15. The Law of Victory.
Leaders find a way for the team to win. “You can’t win WITHOUT good athletes, but you CAN lose with them.” p162). Unity of vision, diversity of skills plus a leader are needed for a win.

16. The Law of Momentum.
You can’t steer a ship that isn’t moving forward. It takes a leader to create forward motion.

17. The Law of Priorities.
Activity is not necessarily accomplishment. We need to learn the difference. “A leader is the one who climbs the tallest tree, surveys the entire situation, and yells “Wrong Jungle!”” (p176) If you are a leader, you must learn the three “Rs”… a) what’s Required b) what gives the greatest Return c) what brings the greatest Reward.

18. The Law of Sacrifice.
A leader must give up to go up. Successful leaders must maintain an attitude of sacrifice to turn around an organisation. One sacrifice seldom brings success. As he worked to turn around the Chrysler Corporation, Lee Iacocca slashed his own salary to $1 per year.”When you beome a leader, you lose the right to think about yourself.”

19. The Law of Timing.
When to lead is as important as what to do and where to go. Only the right action at the right time will bring success.

20. The Law of Explosive Growth.
To add growth, lead followers. To multiply growth, lead leaders. “It is my job to build the people who are going to build the company.”

21. The Law of Legacy.
A leader’s lasting value is measured by succession. “Leadership is the one thing you can’t delegate. You either exercise it – or abdicate it.”

If you need to improve any of these, pick up the book. Basically if you want to be a leader, this one is for you.

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Sunday Book Review : Free to Choose by Milton Friedman

Free to Choose: A Personal StatementFree to Choose: A Personal Statement by Milton Friedman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The say, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” Friedman’s 1980 work is able to do just that. Milton won the Noble Memorial Prize in Economics in 1978. Free to Choose highlights free market economics and the forces that destroy them. So much good and relevant data in here that it is hard to believe it was written almost 40 years ago.

The part that rings true is that almost every instance of “free market” being cited as the reason for some decline (think great depression, mortgage crisis, looming student debt) can actually be traced back to government intervention setting the ball in motion for the collapse.

His take on public schooling, welfare, social security, legalizing drugs, the FDA, unions and other topics is well worth the listen regardless of what side of the political spectrum you fall. If you plan on voting for a candidate in the upcoming election it would be worth your time to read this book to have a broader understanding on economics before checking a box at the ballot.

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Sunday Book Review : Integrity by Henry Cloud

Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of RealityIntegrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Henry Cloud

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Cloud’s work with business leaders at Fortune 500 companies leads him to believe integrity is at the heart of good leadership. He outlines six key traits that comprise integrity:

1. Trust
2. Truth
3. Results Focused
4. Embracing the Negative
5. Growth Focused
6. Adaptability

If you want to grow as a leader, seeking integrity is a great start. This book is for you!

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Sunday Book Review : Things That Matter by Charles Krauthammer

Things That Matter: Three Decades of Passions, Pastimes and PoliticsThings That Matter: Three Decades of Passions, Pastimes and Politics by Charles Krauthammer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A collection of Krauthammer’s essays over the years. I never paid any attention to Krauthammer through the years, but figured I would take a gamble based on reviews and popularity. He broke the essays into four categories: personal, political, historical and global. He covers a wide variety of topics. He definitely got me fired up about how big government has become, how out of control taxation is and how government is impeding in the free market.

It is worth nothing that for a stretch in the book it seemed to take a side alley surrounding Israel. I can not be coherent on that topic with someone that approaches it with blind vigor based on religious belief. So that was significant turn off for me.

If you like politics and want to cover a few decades with great content. This is an easy read.

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Sunday Book Review : Being Mortal by Atul Gawande

Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the EndBeing Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I had no idea what to expect with this one. Books by surgeon’s seem to be pretty hit or miss. I was stunned with this one. Gawande articulately puts forth how important it is to understand what matters in the end, BEFORE THE END. We tend to avoid these conversations as they feel awkward and uncomfortable, but ultimately they are freeing when had early.

While hiking the other day my adult daughter asked “Dad is it weird to talk about buying a burial plot and how to handle death at my age?”. Her husband is active duty in the Army, so for her this is something on her mind. We had a good discussion as a family about how we viewed such things and how important these conversations can be. It was splendid.

If you have aging parents this is a must read now. Don’t put it off.

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Sunday Book Review : What Do You Care What Other People Think? by Richard Feynman

What Do You Care What Other People Think?What Do You Care What Other People Think? by Richard Feynman

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I never really thought of physicists being great storytellers, but Feynman proved me wrong. Feynman recounts stories of his life. Everything from meeting the king and queen of Belgium to serving on the president’s committee to investigate the space shuttle Challenger. An easy read full of humor, but ending in tragedy. Definitely inspired to read more of his works. Science nerd? If you haven’t read this you should.

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